I am trying to get my mind together but right now my mind and heart are speaking two different languages. Who knew being bilingual could be so painful...

There is love and being in love. I did not fall in love, I'm just there. I live and breath it everyday. Always on my mind, carried in my spirit, the man that I adore. But lately this roller coaster, called life, that he and I are on has me nauseous. So I decided to throw caution to the wind and try another ride. Something more mellow, designed with me in mind. And I had a ball.

Good company, and good food turned my day at the fair into just what I needed. I needed for someone to take an active interest in what was going on in my life. I needed someone to check on me and make sure I was ok. And I needed a cheerleader. I found these things in the man I love, not the man I'm in love with. And it hurts. It stings so badly that tears well up in my eyes just thinking about it.

I want the man I'm in love with to be my biggest fan. But this weekend it was the man I love, Superman that came to my rescue. Loving him is, an interesting process. I've gone from love to hate back to love. And through all those changes he's been there. It's hard to explain the nature of our relationship and I no longer care to try. All I know is that today I needed rescuing and it was Superman, not Clark Kent that came to the rescue.

Dec. 2007