you ever have one of those days with one of those moods that you just couldn't explain?the day isn't good or bad, it just is and you just are.

ever have that one person that looks at you and it feels like they can see everything about you, from your head all the way down to your toes?that person who, somedays, knows you better than you know yourself. the one who knows exactly what kind of mood you're in based on one sentence on the im or the way you say hello on the telephone? well they say that everyone has one person who knows them inside and out. me, i've got two. i'm doubly lucky. it's twice as hard to hide away when i don't know how i'm feeling or keep my emotionz to myself when the situation calls for it.

just when i'm happily tooling along thru life, or unhappily tooling along but am just too oblivious to notice or to care, someone picks up this big etch-e-sketch, called life, shakes it up, and erases my picture.well that person that knows me well, has been playing with my etch-e-sketch for a while now and today, quite possibly for purely entertainment purposes, he picked up the etch-e-sketch and modified the picture. thankfully he didn't erase the picture,this time; i've had to start over more times than i care to remember or can even count. makes me wonder what his motivation was to change my picture today. i kno it started out a lil bit fuzzy today but fuzzy is better than gone altogether

Come Home ~One Republic
Hello world .Hope you're listening.Forgive me if I'm young.For speaking out of turn.There's someone I've been missing .I think that they could be .The better half of me .They're in their own place trying to make it right.But I'm tired of justifying.So i say you'll.Come home.Come home.Cause.I've been waiting for you.For so long .For so long.And right now there's a war between.the vanities.But all i see is you and me.The fight for you is all I've ever known.So come home

i feel like the piece of me that's missing is the part of me that left when you went away. well you didn't really go away. u've always been just around the corner. but since you left my life in your emotional position of stature. i feel like i'm getting back to where I need to be for me. doing for myself. taking care of myself. and i need to keep moving forward, i can't sacrifice myself on the alter of your ego, worshiping at the temple of your desires anymore

Sideways~Citizen Cope
You know it ain't easy.For these thoughts here to leave me.There's no words to describe it.In French or in English.Well, diamonds they fade.And flowers they bloom.And I'm telling you.These feelings won't go away.They've been knockin' me sideways.They've been knockin' me out lately.Whenever you come around me.These feelings won't go away .They've been knockin' me sideways.I keep thinking in a moment that.Time will take them away.But these feelings won't go away

try as i may. u just won't go away. i can't escape you in the day nor the night. these thoughts. these emotionz. these feelings won't go away. it feels like you're determined to make them stay. the thing is. i don't know what remains. somedays i am overwhelmed with emotion. others i can't verbalize or formulate thoughts whenever you're around. fysikally or expressly. u permeate my subconscious in the early morning hours. tossing and turning in my mind makes my body flop about and my stomach tie in knots. these feelings won't go away. they've been knockin' me sideways.

Chasing Pavements~Adele
I've made up my mind.Don't need to think it over.If I'm wrong, I am right.Don't need to look no further.This ain't lust.I know this is love.But, if I tell the world.I'll never say enough,Cuz it was not said to you.And that's exactly what I need to do.If I end up with you.Should I give up.Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?.Even if it leads nowhere.Or would it be a waste.Even if I knew my place.Should I leave it there.Should I give up.Or should I just keep chasin' pavements.Even if it leads nowhere

i was so sure that this was it for me. my prince had come. i was finally in the right place at the right time then the foundation got a crack and it was all down hill from there. i spent the next two years chasin' pavements. it just didn't feel right. no matter how intense the feelings were. i was feeling them alone but i continued to run thinking that i would be able to catch up to the way that things used to feel. i finally quit chasing that pipe dream. turns out i was chasin my own shadow and reflection. the place where love should've been was the place where it was lacking. love starts at home. i fell out of love with myself becuz of all of the things i was doing and pieces of me i sacrificed to be loved. i'm out of breath and can't continue the chase. love knocked me down but i'm not out.

F-stop Blues~Jack Johnson
Look who's laughing now that you've wasted.How many years and you've barely even tasted.Anything remotely close to.Everything you've boasted about.Look who's crying now

Bottle It up~Sara Bareilles
I know that it's your soul but could you bottle it up and.Get down to the heart of it.No it's my heart you're shit out of your luck.Don't make me tell you again my love love love love.
Love love love love.I am aiming to be somebody this somebody trusts.With her delicate soul
I don't claim to know much except soon as you start.To make room for the parts.That aren't you it gets harder to bloom in a garden of.Love love love love.Love Love love love

i must make amends with myself for the way i have treated me. yes you ultimately treated me in ways that i didnt care for. but i didn't stop the pain as it was washing over me in icy cold waves that stung as though i had been smacked across the face with lightening speed. i've painted my heart black by not reassuring myself that i was special and worth a reciprocal love every day that i have walked on this earth. if i don't appreciate, love and protect myself how can i possibly expect anyone else to be that way, especially with my heart and my emotionz

Here Is Gone~Goo Goo Dolls

You and I got something/But it's all and then it's nothing to me/Yeah/And I got my defenses/When it comes to your intentions for me/Yeah/And we wake up in the breakdown/Of the things we never thought we could be/Yeah/'m not the one who broke you
/'I'm not the one you should fear/What do you got to move you darling/I thought I lost you somewhere/But you were never really ever there at all/And I want to get free, talk to me/I can feel you falling/And I wanted to be all you need/Somehow here is gone

Apologize

 

Its my fault

that I couldn't be every where

or attend everything

because I had to work

Who could blame you

for being upset

that I gave my last dollar

so you could eat

even if it meant

that I would go hungry?
How could you possibly

not be offended

that I would sacrifice

sleep and my health

just to spend some extra time

with you?

I take full responsibility

for leaving my sick bed

to solve your problems
Unable to breathe

but standing by your side

holding you up

I am the reason you were stressed
I literally made you sick
I took life from you
I took joy from you
I took your spirit and painted it black

My soul was gone and my spirit burned

so I  tried to take yours for my own
And of course my going out

and working twice as hard

to support the both of us

must’ve been done in an attempt

to emasculate you

not because I wanted to be there for you

while you handled your business

 

I must’ve made you cry on a daily

To doubt your self-worth

Or importance in my life

To push you to the brink of insanity

Because I never showed you

how much you meant to me

I just told you and expected

That would be enough

 

I have no choice

But beg your forgiveness

And ask you to trust me

With your heart again

I know that I’ve smashed it into a million pieces

That you have to pick up

Piece by piece and re-attach them with crazy glue

But, You should still love me

Exactly the same

With the same passion and intensity

As before because

This is me

 

I apologized,

Wasn’t that good enough?

What happened to me being the exception to the rule?

I’m still exceptional

I’m exactly the person I used to be

You know you still love me

You’ll never leave me

You’re nothing without me…

 

Wait,

You call this an apology?